Doing Impressions

Anyone who knows me very well knows that I love a good joke. A number of years ago (this phrase is often used by people who don't want to give away their age) I heard a story that goes something like this. After going through basic training soldiers were split into two group, the red team and the blue team, in order to have a war game training. All the soldiers were told that due to budget cut backs they did not have any weapons to train with so they would have to use imaginary ones. As the training progressed one of the red team soldiers spotted a blue team soldier walking slowly in a straight line across an open field. The red soldier jumped out from behind a tree and shouted "Bang, bang, you're dead!" But the blue soldier just acted like he didn't hear him and kept right on walking straight across the field. Thinking that the blue soldier was hard of hearing, the red soldier decided to get up close and personal. He ran up right behind the blue soldier and while hitting the blue soldier on the back yelled, "Stab, stab, you're dead!" But again the blue soldier just kept right on walking straight across the field. Now angered, the red soldier runs around in front of the blue soldier and throws an imaginary hand grenade at the blue soldier and yells, "Boooooom, you're dead!" But still the blue soldier kept on walking straight across the field. Absolutely livid, the red soldier ran, grab the blue soldier and yelled, "I have shot you with my imaginary gun, I have stabbed you with my imaginary knife, and I blew you up with my imaginary hand grenade and you keep going straight across this field and refusing to die! Just who do you think you are?" Finally coming to a stop, the blue soldier turn to look at the red soldier and answered, "Rumble, rumble, I'm a tank."

A comedian said (I'm not sure who) that everyone does their own impression of Ed Sullivan. Some of those "everyones" do a real good impression while others really suck (yes, mom, I really did use that word.)! Around here in this area, we have a lot of people doing impressions of entertainers and singing group from the past. We probably could claim to be "The King" sighting capital of the world. Now while it's true that nothing is exactly like the original, some of them get really, really close while other, well if they didn't tell you who they where suppose to be.......well, you get what I mean. There's one thing I have noted about most of the really good ones. They have studied thoroughly the person or persons they portray. They can almost tell you how many times they used the bathroom each day. They practice till they're exhausted and then practice some more. The others tend to just put on some kind of costume and grab a musical instrument whether or not they can play anything at all on it and in many cases don't even bother to learn all the words to any of the songs and expect people to give them top billing at the biggest theatre in town.

There are a lot of people doing impressions now a days in every walk of life. We have folks doing impressions of real parents, husbands/wifes, plumbers, mechanics, contractors, doctors, lawyers, preachers, teacher, and, yes, even photographers. Folks, putting a golf club in my hands doesn't make me a golfer or at least a good one. I have, however, used my camera to take numerous photos that are in a movie, brochure, magazine, and website, not to mention individual photos across the area and country. Give my camera to my mom and she might not know where the shutter is. But if my mother does manage to find the shutter release and take a picture, well is she not the photographer of that photo?

I have made mention in earlier post that theres a difference in those who take photos. Ask yourself this question, what is my definition of a professional photographer. My staff has heard me say over and over again that just because you take a clear well focused well lighted photo doesn't make you a professional. We think about the quality of the picture, or the fee asked for. What happens if one of these folks doing their impression of a professional photographer has their camera break or malfunction while their shooting your event. What happens if they fail to make backup copies of the shots they took at your once in a life time event and loses them somehow. What if they sell you pictures they have printed out using low grade ink that fades in a very short period of time or on a disk that loses those filed pictures in just a few years. How good of an impression of a pro photographer do you think this impressionist was if any one of these or a number of other potential problems results in your not have the photos you paid for. And trying to correct the problem with them might resemble the story I gave earlier and you would be the red soldier. If they are a friend, family member, even a friend of a friend, all of these could really cause years of regret. If they're just a bad impressionist, well "rumble, rumble" cause they will have in most cases not way to make it right for you. Sure you can get your money back through the courts but wasn't the point to have those irreplaceable photos?

If you choose to get a person with a "good" camera to take photos of a project for you because of a cheap or for free price just be ready. What a professional makes look easy may turn out to be a real impossible task for the lazy impressionist who just put on the costume. You can't fly just because you have big red S on your chest and a cape on your back! We all wish it was that easy but we are not children any more. We have learned that there is not such thing as fairy dust and while many of us would like to go there, no Never Never Land either.

I take my car to a "shade tree" type of mechanic. Lewis is a great guy and I have been acquainted with him for years. But that's not why I have him work on my car. He doesn't have a fancy place or a great location with a cool sign and catchy slogan. He has the right tools but that doesn't mean he knows how to use them. It's because I know he does good work cause I've checked him out with those who take their vehicle to him for repair work. He's more than reasonable on his price and parts. I am very fortunate to have ran across Lewis years ago but he is not the norm. There are a very few good pro photographers out there who give a great product at a cheap if not free price (we have had our experiences at this). Check them out. Don't run the risk of not getting what you wanted. It might take a few years to find yourself disappointed. You wouldn't have serious surgery done by the lowest bidder before checking them out would you?

Well, I have had a number of things take place that have really got to me lately and I think we will put them in a series of Pro Pix Tips. So next post we will start by looking at the on board metering of your camera and can you really trust it. Until them try to take a picture of the moon or some other low light object. What is your meter telling you compared to what the picture itself looks like.

Well that all folks (thanks Porky). Have a great day everyone.

Richard